My Process Timeline

Here you can see all Blogs in a Timeline - so you can simply follow how I have changed, my Self-Realizations and which kinds of Situations I managed and changed myself.

Here is now my new Homepage http://equallife.at where you find all my new blogs started from 2012 and few month befor.

Enjoy

Too much Sleeping is an Escape from Reality

Too much Sleeping is an Escape from Reality

Nervous while speaking to group is a lack of Self-Trust

Yesterday I started participating in a Course from the worker-service to train myself for finding a job. The worker-service in Austria put all people who registered by them into course to support them for finding a job – in my case this course isn´t really necessary because I am already a Self-Employed Massage Practitioner but I am only registered as “smallest company” so therefore I am still in the worker-service and thus I am bound to participate in it. In one point I see it very practical because of the support of how to work together effectively in a group and also facing some pre-programmed patterns what I have accepted and allowed within me.

And here it starts – yesterday it was the first day and we started with a representation of ourselves on the flip-chart. First we got a letter where we wrote all about what we want to say about ourselves like Name, Address, past jobs, Educations, Hobbies, Future perspectives …..
First as I heard about it I got a tiny feeling in my stomach-area. I observed it as connection to nervousness and I tried to breath through it I made it clear for myself that there is no reason to experience nervousness after that I felt stable and I walked out to the flip-chart to present myself.

But when I stood in front of this group the nervousness started again and became stronger and stronger. My voice started to be faster and faster and my eyes winked faster and faster. I tried to breathe and in the same time to talk – but this doesn´t work. I realized that I had should stop talking, the group asked to excuse my break and breathing and then starting from new with talking.  When I crossed the point of talking about my participation at Desteni & our stand to the world-problems & Equal Money and what we do to change it I felt like the energy of nervousness is now running out and I became more comfortable. I never experienced it so intensive although it was not the first group I spoke in front.

This situation showed me an accumulation of patterns, I mean in the first time I experienced while speaking in front of a group not so much nervousness, in the next time a bit more and so on and so forth. The patterns got bigger and bigger and I never made a real change – only a time loop was running within me which I have allowed to manipulate me.

After my presentation we had a small discussion about that what I said and the group-leaders agreed that about this shit what we have created and that all should ask oneself the question on which costs one live his freedom. The Group-Leaders said also that we live now in a time where some jobs will disappear and that we should carefully which jobs we choose.

I see the point of some jobs will disappear in that way that we now have more machines which make our job and therefore the unemployment-rate increase. But what we all have missed is that this will not bring forth a real change because abuse will still exist as long we do not take Self-Responsibility for what we have created, accepted and allowed.

So after all had done there representation we created little groups where we discussed the group-rules or rather which rules we see as necessary to work together in & as a group. In the small group I was I took the responsibility to talk again to all to see what happens within me.  This was then the second talk in front of a group and here I felt quite cool to talk to all and to explain the points I/we as small group have decided as group-rules.

All in all I realized that to be nervous either to speak in front of group or in other Situations is totally useless – it is for nothing and further it is a lack of Self-Trust. Nervousness itself do not really exist and how I explained it above it is just a energetic-pattern within me which I have created in the past. And as long as I participate in Nervousness and I do not stand up in that moment where the patterns comes up the pattern will still exist and will timeloop me and thus I give my Life as a Self-Directive-Principle away and allow emotions,feelings or thoughts manipulate and enslave me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that nervousness do really exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in nervousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience nervousness while speaking in front of a group.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to stand up within me in that moment where nervousness arise.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what others would think about me when I stand in front of a group and talk to them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear a group conversation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be manipulated and enslaved through past patterns like nervousness while talking in front of a group.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experiencing doubt while talking in front a group of people.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that people will think about me when I talk in front of a group.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect nervousness & fear with talking in front of a group.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define talking in front of a group within fear & nervousness.

Till here no further – I will no longer allow myself to participate in a pattern of nervousness because I realize that it is useless and further a not real expression of the physical existence.

Till here no further – I will no longer allow myself to experience fear in connection what people think about me when I talk in front of a group.

Till here no further – I will no longer allow myself to be manipulated and influence by the mind as an emotional reaction of nervousness & fear while talking in front of a group.

I allow myself to let go this patterns of nervousness & fear in connection to talking in front of a group.

I allow myself to trust myself in any way whatsoever.

I allow myself to feel comfortable and complete while talking in front of a group.

I allow myself to be here within & as my physical body as the breath of Life in each and every single moment.

 

http://desteniiprocess.com

http://equalmoney.org

http://destonians.com

 

Desteni-Tags: desteni,destonians,wikia,wiki,life,research,self,change,fear,nervous,nervousness,anxiety,talk,talking,discussion,in front of a group of people,life-script,psychology,psyche,mind,emotion,feeling,brainwashing,brainwashed,stopp

Everyone wants to go to heaven but non of them wants to die

A phrase what Peter Tosh, a reggae artist use in one of his songs. And definitely there is something true about it. Death is something what people don´t like to talk about it. Fear is in many cases connected to Death but why? Do they fear the hell? Are humanity so brainwashed by the stories of the bible? Or are they unsure if they come to heaven or hell?

Hell do already exist here on earth. You have just to read the newspapers or scanning through the internet or looking in oneself and one will see the extensive abuse what we all have created, accepted and allowed here on earth. Everything what exist on earth exist in each human because all the systems, all the abuse was created from human itself. The World-Situation is the outflow/projection/reflection of humans inner world. The Human is the System.

So when one die and if there would be exist a thing like heaven or hell you will nothing face others then what one has accepted and allowed. And that would be exactly the same like what exist already here on earth. As above so bellow. The world is the image and likeness of humanity. War, Poverty, Starvation, Child-Prostitution, cheating each others, dishonesty, rape & violation, competition, judgements ….. and if there would be a god – he is a real fucker, cheater and abuser because according to the bible “humanity is the image & likeness of God”.

But those with common sense will realise that there exist no real god because of realizing that first babies do not come from god but from mother & father and second that all what exist here on earth exist because human beings exist in way that we exist therefore humanity is responsible for what exist here. To beLIEf in God is just an excuse for not wanting to take self-responsibility.

And a fascinating point is that all with what human being have to do here on earth is based on money. Food, Housing, Holidays, Art, Entertainment, Internet, Love, Hate, Health, …. So the money-system is a creation of humanity and one can see how it works – really shitty. Thats the image & likeness of humanity.

And now back to the point way noone wants to die because they fear that they will loose what they have elaborated. All their money what they have spent into the house, garden, luxury & identity – the definitions what one has imposed to himself.

When one die the house will remain, the garden will remain,  the luxury will remain but the identity will be definitely disappear. The body will go back to earth from where it comes from.

So, now the question is “Who are you?”

Are you your thoughts, feelings, emotions, the idea about yourself or are you your physical body? The mind in his totality is a system within one´s physical body which is obviously based on a Deception/Illusion. One can proof this in every moment that thoughts, feelings & emotions are subjective which means that they are not seen from everyone equally thus it isn´t real like the human physical body or a tree, flowers, computer ….. which can be seen by everyone equally.

In that way one will realize that the most time in our life we participate in this mind/fairy tale and believe in them because humanity beLIEve that the mind is what we are. How one can see is that if one participate and believe in the mind as himself – one has defined himself as an illusion and therefore simple common sense - those do not really exist. You are an Illusion.

How to stop this bullshit & get life back as who we really are? It is the physical that matters.

Stand up & take in full application Self-Responsibility and do no longer allow abuse in any way whatsoever - Stop yourself, Stop the participation & the beLIEf in & as the mind and be here within & as the physical body. Feel how you sit, how you touch the keyboard when you write a letter and be aware of your breath, of the breath of Life. By experiencing thoughts and/or emotional reaction apply Self-Forgiveness for what you have accepted and allowed to exist and direct yourself as self to what is best for all. Simple COMMON SENSE 1+1

Through the Desteni I Process I have realized how to be effective in stopping my self-created, accepted and allowed illusion & abuse and being here as Life within and as the physical body as a self-directive-principle which become step by step, breath by breath, moment by moment the Life back as who I really am – From Self-Destruction to Self-Support – from Abuse to Dignity – From Self-Interests which feeds only my ego to What is best for all.

Lets create real Heaven on Earth and noone have to die to reach heaven.

Join the Desteni I Process and make an real change within yourself into the Life-Principles of Oneness & Equality  http://desteniiprocess.com

Join the Equal Money System and support a System which take care and every single being here on earth equally. http://equalmoney.org

Desteni Tags: Desteni Destonians Research World System Investigation Life Support Equal Money EqualMoney Physical Body Death Birth Heaven Earth God Secret Humantiy Christian Religion Peter Tosh Bob Marley Reggae Freedom Joy what is best for all Desteni I Process Animal Nature Rasta

Living with Animals destroying Consumerism & everything what you have defined as yours.

Since last year in November I got 2 doggies and now 1 month ago 2 kitties I am busy with doing what is necessary to be done for the doggies & kitties that they have a comfortable & worthy place to live. Each day giving them food & water to a regular time – looking for their health and of course playing with them. 

Since my birth I can remember that my parents had always dogs & cats but the last 5 years my parents believed that they are too old for this and they have also the desire for a more calm life in their last years. So to speak they want not take responsibility for their environment but In fact each human being is Self-Responsible for their life and their environment thus this world and if one do not want take Self-Responsibility for it - those one give a fuck of what happens in this world which they are part of it though. It is definitely a statement of selfish/ego.

Also the statement of “I want/wish/desire a calm life” is nothing more than a outflow of ego because either you change yourself that your inner world is calm & comfortable or not. It is depended on oneself – it is the responsibility of oneself. If one blame others for their non-calm & uncomfortable life is definitely not Realizing what life is and how we have created life thus a lack of Responsibility.

So back to the origin of my story – in the first 2 month the doggies was quite cool – they had not the power to destroy much except pillows & blankets but when the spring was coming they lived up. My mother is a flower & cactus freak and had designed our plot of land with floral-stripes – it separates the home-driveway to the green-area which took her ca 10 years to prepare it. The former dogs got more limitations from my parents – but now balu & babu are under my custody.

Through my realization of how limited we are as humans & also how we have limited ourselves through our definitions, believes, emotions, thoughts ….. I work with and correct myself in various points where I see my accepted and allowed limitation/abuse of life – therefore I started handling situations differently.

In the beginning balu & baboo showed me alot of my limitations for instance my re-actions of anger when they have destroyed my blankets or bedcover or when they have bitten on furnitures. Overall we have now the 4 bedcover in 1 year. And a pillow we have stopped to use.

The floral-stripes from my mother looks like after a bomb attack. In Fact it isn´t a problem but for those who have defined oneself, like my mother, with the work what she had done to create this floral-stripes with all this different flowers - those people will have a problem. In that way we can see how limited we are or rather how we create limitation and thus a separation of life through definitions.

Through the realization that Life itself is an expression as & within the moment one will see that not the dogs are the problem but the belief of one´s own self-imposed definitions.

Another Limitation which dogs possibly will bring up is the beLIEve on a so called Sunday-Clothes or Fancy-Clothes. Animals express themselves to everything equally – they do not separate things like work-clothes and fancy-clothes. My doggies jump on everyone who is visiting us, it dosn´t matter which cothes they wear or if they have earthy paw or not – my parents for instance become angry if the dogs jump on their. In that way when patterns like anger came up one have the response-ability to change himself through Self-Forgiveness & thus delete/correct this limitation/separation of Life.

Calling oneself a “Pet-Owner” is also deception/limitation because you can´t be a owner of something – you can only beLIEve that you are an Owner which will direct yourself away from life itself. By living together with animals one will face possibly many patterns like this and on that way one can see how far we have separated ourselves from the nature of Life of Equality. We all live together as One – like One Universe – One Earth – One Life. The main-point what we as human-beings have been missed is to live Equal and with missing the inherent Nature of Life as Equality we have created abuse as far as the eye can see.

And Consumerism is one of the extensive abuse what we have accepted and allowed to exist. It distract ourselves from that what is really here. It is a distraction from seeing life as it really is – fear we hide through distraction – everything what we do not like to see we try to hide through distraction – through consumerism. Everything what we try to hide is suppression.

So dogs or in common pets/animals will give one no longer this much time to hide one´s accepted life through participating in consumerism because doggies needs your attention and further they destroy things what you have bought during your Consum-fever. The support from animals is very extensive and if one isn´t ready to support them in a way what is best for all and let oneself support from animals or have animals as an reason like “my toy” or as a “working-animal” they are simply animal-abuser because of not taking Self-Responsibility & taking real care of life and let them express in their innocent way. 

The expression of animals isn´t based on right & wrong or good and bad – the same like by children. This bullshit/deception/illusion of good & bad or right & wrong became one taught by their parents and this children taught it their children and so on and so forth without questioning this kind of Education. If one had done this – the world wouldn´t be a place like what we have now.

Real Education is based on unconditional Support and not to force others with one´s own beLIEves.

Support an Equal Money System – a System which supports all life equally – humans, animals & nature as One in a way what is best for all. EqualMoney will change all Systems what we have created, accepted and allowed to exist because all Systems are based on Money and allow abuse – if you have money you will get educated – if you have money you will get food – if you have money no need to live on the street – if all have money which supports all equally in a way what is best for all there will be no longer unnecessary suffering & abuse in this world.

http://equalmoney.org

We, a group of people called Desteni are already educating ourselves in the principle of Oneness & Equality as what is best for all because we realized that we are Self-Responsible for this World-Situation and that we are the change for a better world.

 http://desteniiprocess.com

Only the EGO fights against Life

Few days ago I brought home 2 kitties and it allows me to face some unacceptable points within me where I have some re-active outflows of who to handle situations where dogs are not gentle to cats.

It began with my parents the some stuff like last year with the dogs. They said no to the cats and I said yes, so they became angry – In the beginning I felt quite comfortable because I saw from my perspective nothing unworthy - quite the reverse - I saw it as support for me and the dogs and also for the cats. And I saw also that my parents have no longer power over me and my actions – I believed so. I allow myself no longer to participate in the same belief like my parents as owner of a plot of land or something like that – they threatened to expel me from the house but I tried to see what happens – so I did it. This has nothing to do with revolution – from my perspective I acted in common sense to train and educate me, the cats and dogs and also my parents with brining together and living together as different races/life-expressions as equal & one.

My parents said always they want live comfortable in their last years before death and not being in anxiety with the animals & their house/environment – that is definitely a point of not understanding of life and not wanting to take Self-Responsibility for their own creations & acceptances because anxiety is that what humanity has learned as normal but in fact it isn´t real – it happens only in our Mind-Fantasy-World and thus not standing equal as one as life itself.

And by repeating again and again the same stuff I fall and let me manipulate & influence from my parents and became angry. Then the same day and the next day my brothers was visiting us. They also attacked me or rather I experienced it as attack and I reacted again in anger & tried to justify me which is also an simple outflow of ego because I see that justifications happens then when one want have compulsively right -  they meant also I have to respect the wish from our parents where I said no, I do no longer allow this kind of wishes – either it is for the best of all with a will of self-correction or fuck up – Self-Interests like wishes, desires or statements “that is my own” is obvious abuse and have created this world as the current state – a real nightmare and an unliveable place for any kind of beings.

Until now through participating again and again in the mind and accumulating my ego with anger & justifications I missed many breathes means I missed many moments of life and then it follows the bringing together of kitties & doggies. My doggies are now 1 year old and they didn´t know cats before – possibly seeing them in distance. Now we live all five in one room or rather on one place. In the beginning the doggies jumped very excited and upset to the kitties where I experienced irritation and uncertainty because of thinking & believing that this excited contact of both is to much for the kitties.

I tried to be gentle and respectful to the dogs but in some cases I fall into irritation and anger again – so called I possessed myself with anger and after 3 days participating always in the same fucking story I sat in the kitchen and realized how I have changed – how far I have separated myself from me, from Life itself, how manipulated and enslaved I become from the mind as anger which I have accepted and allowed during my participation in it.

I thought I can protect the kitties by reacting in anger to the doggies instead of realizing that everything learn from the environment which means that if I react in anger I give anger the permission to exist thus the doggies see it also as normal and will possibly also re-act in anger or so or I frighten them which is also an unacceptable way because it is based on manipulation. As long I try to manipulate something I do not stand equal as one as life and support everything in a way what is best for all because in the background or rather sub-conscious mind is a desire pattern – a desire for a other situation.

Each Desire is so called a future-projection which let one not stand here within & as the moment of life and further it happens in the mind thus it separate one from Life itself. That´s the reason why humanity do not realize what life is. During this days I saw and realized that only the Ego is ready to fight against life as one & equals and how important it is to change & correct the ego to bring forth a real stand as Life. Ego itself exist only as thoughts, believes, emotions, feelings, ideas and inner pictures as & within the mind but not in this Reality therefore we can say it do not exist. Through the believe of an I-Consciousness ones get drive, influenced, manipulated and enslaved through this thoughts which means further that one isn´t the Self-Directive-Principle as Life.

Also what I see is that re-acting as an EGO is most of the time blaming others and not standing in Self-Responsibility. The point is that we are in all-ways Self-Responsible for what we see, feel, hear, taste & smell because simple Common Sense 1+1 “who feel, hear, see, smell and taste it” therefore is blaming others a deception/illusion as an outflow of & as the mind. Through Self-Forgiveness and applying Self-Corrective Statements we are able to delete & correct ourselves and the patterns what we have accepted and allowed to exist within ourselves thus within this world. 

I saw also that by applying Self-Forgiveness and not lived the Self-Corrective Statements – Self-Forgiveness is useless. Both are necessary to bring forth a real change. Lets get this done until no ego & self-interests exist and Universal-Equality is fully lived.

Thanks

 

http://desteniiprocess.com – A Lifestyle Concept which supports me in Realizing and Seeing Life how it is and how to change what I have created, accepted and allowed.

 http://equalmoney.org – A new Money-System Worldwide to bring forth a real change into Dignity for all.

facing myself - Discussion with my brother about Education

Yesterday I had a talk with my brother about education and being a parent and the situation becomes slowly unruly.
The whole discussion was based on being loud in expression lol - but not on blaming each other nor angry - just loud and fast.
After the discussion my experience was a "feeling of more free" - more free from some pent up & suppressed stuff within me.

From my starting point I talked about this to support him and me - to see where I stand and to
let him know that nobody is special in their education and that everybody handle education how oneself become
eductated only with different pictures but with the same reaction and similar believes about right and wrong.

Then in one moment he tried to attack me verbally about my past experience and that I say one time so and one time so.
Specialy he told about where I said I will no longer use the money from the government - this was
in my spiritual/new age time  where I stoped then for 1,5 years to use this money.

In this time I experienced for only 1 month to have less then 3 € per week for 3 people - I was glad that it was summer
so we had some fruits and corn to eat and with the money we buyed flour.
From that on I started use the money from the government again because I would never experience how it is to be poor.

When my borther spoke about this I experienced some patterns of unsecure & inferiore within me also a point of
fear - that I am not trust worthy enough.
I see & realize my unstable point of taking still something personally what other say/believe about me and that I want/wish to be
trustworthy - so to speak I want to be a good person in some cases.

I see the point of trust and/or trustworthy is and shall not be for others but for me as I stand. Do I trust myself in every moment and
are my words what I speak, spoken in self-honesty thus trusworthy. Am I the words what I speak or are they nothing but smoke and mirrors.
To want/wish/desire to be trustworthy is just seperating me from the actual deed of self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel verbally attacked by others instead of realizing that verbally attack exist only when I take it personally and give or still exist within me the words definition as good & bad thus a polare defnition. A polare definition do not really exist in real - it is a happening within the mind as a separation of Life as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take what my borther or orthers beLIEve and say about me personally and place it in a polarity-catergory of good and bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience unsecurity in connection with the thought I am not trustwhorthy enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience fear in connection with the thought that I am not trustworthy enough.

I frogive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/wish/desire to being trustworthy enough so that others will accepte and respect me
as who I am instead of realizing that through participating within a want/wish/desire I sperate me from me as life as the actuall deed and living word
as trustworthy and further I have to respect and accept myself as who I really am within & as the physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define & charge the words not trustworthy enough with a negative value.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spearate me frome the words not trustworthy enough through defining the words with an negative value in separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have done something wrong in my past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge past experiences like my spritual-new-age time with an negative value.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to separate me from my spiritual-new-age time through judging this time/my past and everything what I have told people as my knowledge & realizations from that with an negative value in separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself in connection what I have told people within my spriritual-new-age time instead of realizing that everthing what I have seen in this time was & is a support of realizing what is real & whats deception/illusion. I am in process like everyone else to investigate in system and learn from them to can support others and me effectivly to get out of this shit what we have created, acepted and allowed and direct me to the point of standing as Equal as all Life as One.