Few days ago I was buying food in a shop near to my home, I went my round in the shop and took everything what I needed/wanted in my shopping cart – as I stand on the exit to pay my products I wasn´t sure if I had everything and I was thinking about – at this moment a feeling of fear overcomes me and I had also a feeling of loosing myself.– I saw people are looking to me – I breathed – and the feeling was gone.
I remember me about my drug-time in the past – sometimes I walked in a shop on ecstacy or hemp and I enjoyed shopping – the expression of all the colors – but when I stood on the checkout counter I got most of the time a nervous feeling up to fear. Because now you have to stand you can´t move far – you can´t run away – next to you is a person who look to you – should you look back – my eyes a big – what do he/she think about me.
Today I experienced anger in another shop because 3 month ago I brought a device back what I bought few days before – it was defect. It is unaccaptable from a company to let wait the costumer so long for a new device – they have just to exchange it – but for the emotional reaction in anger I am self-responsible. Of course – this company seems like they work on a communistic state where people have to wait years to get some new stuff like at the east of germany 20 years ago. I did the same – I breathed through and stand and told the sales person in a stable way that she should call this company about this – the seller told me that this is normal from this company.
If you take a look you see that this company collaborated in the same way as we do it within our money-system – many people starve because we do not care about each other when you got already or you know there is no money to catch. When you have money the people kneel down in front of you.
So back to the points where I react in anger and in fear has nothing to do with Reality itself – it´s only happens in the mind-consciousness-System as thought probably conected to an emotion like fear and anger but we give our thoughts an so immense value that we forget complete the different of illusion/deception and Reality.
What do change within your Reality when you react in anger or fear?
Nothing, except that the more you participate in the mind as any kind of judgement the more manifested consequences as phsical indications you have to reckon and also the far you walk away from life – from Reality. Indeed the anger is not against something or someone in the outside Reality – no, it is against you because you bear it in your inner world – in your little personal bubble – which stands in separation to Life.
Anger is the outplay of wanting to take control over the situation – like a power-play – I have the right and you are my slave, anger seems as stron and powerful but indeed – I am the slave of myself through participating in anger and believing that anger really exist and give thus my power as life as who I am away into the mind-system. If One will be on a stand of superiority another must stand on inferiority – this is an absulate abuse and thus unaccaptable.
Fear you can explain as the point of inferiortiy – feeling powerless, I make me small. Within Fear there exist the point of insecure and a lack of self-Trust. Fear of anything is useless in any why what so ever – whereas anger you can use to stop yourself and push yourself through your own participation of anger.
I realized that I am in fact the power of life equal as one as breath here within the physical body but in participating in both of them I am in fact not here aware within my physical body as breath. You can only be full trustworthy when you are here within/as your physical body - equal as one - because then you stand as a self-directive principle – if you get directed/controlled and manipulated through the mind/thoughts feelings and emotions it will never be sure how you re-act in various situations.
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